Why a Blue Fish
The story behind IndigoKoi Wellness, LLC

People sometimes ask why I chose the name IndigoKoi Wellness, LLC. To answer that question, I have to return to a part of my life when autoimmune disease changed my days, my independence, and the future I had imagined for myself.

For nine years, I lived with disability and the uncertainty that comes when your body no longer responds in familiar ways. There were things I wanted to do that I could no longer count on doing, and parts of my identity that became harder to recognize beneath the demands of illness. Much of that experience happened outside anyone else’s view, including the effort it took to keep going while grieving a life I still remembered clearly.

The koi entered the story through an image I could not forget. As winter settles over a pond and the water grows cold, a koi’s metabolism slows and its need for food diminishes. It may rest near the bottom with so little movement that, to someone looking down into the water, it appears motionless, almost lifeless. The pond that once held so much movement and color seems quiet, yet the fish is still alive beneath the surface.

As the water warms, the koi gradually becomes more active. Its appetite returns, and its movement brings its vibrant colors back into view. That passage from winter stillness to renewed activity gave me language for something I had lived: there can be more life beneath the surface than an observer is able to recognize.

During my nine years of disability, I recognized myself in that koi. There were days when illness left me with little energy for the world around me, and the woman I remembered being felt very far away. My world had narrowed, and my capacity had changed, but beneath what others could see, I still carried interests, hopes, and a life that mattered.

I was that koi, and I needed room to discover what living could look like within circumstances I had never chosen.

The image of warming water held meaning for me because it suggested the possibility of movement returning gradually. In my own life, that meant learning to notice what supported me, understanding my needs more carefully, and making choices that helped me regain a sense of connection with myself. The changes were personal, and they unfolded through experiences that cannot be turned into a formula for someone else.

Indigo brought another part of the story into focus. I have always been drawn to its richness, its depth, and the way it holds beauty without demanding attention. It was a color I could imagine surrounding the kind of space I wanted to create—somewhere a person could pause, speak honestly, and feel comfortable bringing the parts of life that are difficult to explain.

Over time, indigo came to represent the inward attention I had learned to value. Illness had asked me to reconsider what I needed, what I expected of myself, and how often I measured my worth against what I could accomplish. Learning to listen more carefully gave me room to ask different questions and begin making decisions with greater respect for my circumstances.

When I placed indigo beside the koi, the name carried both that reflection and the endurance I knew from experience.

IndigoKoi Wellness, LLC grew from those understandings, alongside the education and training that shaped my work. My lived experience influences how I listen, the questions I ask, and my respect for what another person may be carrying. It reminds me to leave room for the story I have not yet heard and to recognize that someone’s outward appearance may reveal very little about the effort required to move through their day.

That is the kind of care I want people to encounter here. Whether you are navigating chronic illness, grieving an expected future, or trying to recognize yourself after a significant life change, you deserve thoughtful guidance that respects your history, your choices, and your pace.

My experience belongs to me, and your path will have its own shape. What I bring to our work is education, curiosity, compassionate attention, and an understanding of how much it can mean to be heard while you are still finding words for what has changed.

The blue fish carries that history with it. When I see it, I remember the woman I was during those nine years and the life I was learning to make room for again. I also remember why I created IndigoKoi Wellness, LLC: to offer a safe space where others can feel understood as they discover their own possibilities for growth and renewal.